Wednesday, April 2, 2014

{mastering the art of toddler bedtime; remembering to slow down}


Soo... it has been a while since I last posted here... life has been busy. But now, Spring is springing and I'm feeling refreshed and energized!

Previously, I posted about my issues with being able to get my son to sleep at bedtime... I had never had an issue, but hit a rough patch during which me putting him to bed resulted in screaming and crying... I can happily report that the tides have turned!! 

{Although I'm taking the credit for this change, I'm fully aware of the fact that he may have just gone through a phase of toddlerness and he's now through that rough patch... but it feels better to think that I am doing better...}

I figured it out. 

My approach to bedtime has been different than my husband's... to him, bedtime has been a slow process, often delayed by miscellaneous tasks and letting Ben mosey through it all. Hubs is a bit more laid back than I am, and doesn't really stick to a set bedtime. Bedtime just happens when it happens... Although I'm not a fan of letting a 2 year old dictate what time he goes to bed, and get away with procrastinating... what results from hubby's plan of attack is extra quality time between the two of them. 

My way of doing bedtime was more strict, and had become too rushed... the clock struck 8, and it was time to be in bed. No distractions. He got a bath, hugs, three books... and then it was lights out. I was always focused on getting him to bed in time to get a good night's sleep, and making sure that I had the time to do the things that I needed to do that I forgot- bedtime is special. I forgot that even if I had spent the whole day building blanket tents, giving hugs, and playing with trucks, bedtime is special... Bedtime requires quality time. {He'll master the art of collapsing out of sheer tiredness later in life when he doesn't need snuggle time from his mommy....}

So, the past few nights that I've been in charge of bedtime have been different, and wonderfully so. {I work nights, so I'm not always home for bedtime- which I think was contributing to my rushing; I have limited nights at home so I overplan/stress about what I can do while I'm home. AND I think it adds to Ben's need for some extra QT since he doesn't always get it from me... a perfect storm} My goal bedtime has not changed- 8 or 830 remains my deadline. But, the process has changed. 

We now start our routine at about 645 or 7pm. {We used to start at 730 or 745.} Ben loves swimming and playing in the tub, so after dinner we gather all of his toys and hop in! I started tasking him with undressing himself while I run the water. {He loves taking his shoes off, and needs to learn how to work his pants for potty training...} When all of his toys are in place, and there is a small ocean of warm water, I put on my Disney Spotify playlist, and he hops in. He swims, we play, we sing, we talk, we wash until he's done... Usually about an hour later. Then, we brush teeth, slather on some lotion, get on some pj's and snuggle up to some books. 

Magically, by 830 he is happy, sleepy and ready to say goodnight. No crying, no pleading... no tantrums... just sweet dreams. 


...I'm sure there are many moms who, if they ever were to read this post, would say "DuH!- you're a lame mommy for not knowing that bedtime is a two-hour process and how could you cheat your baby boy out of even more special quality time with his mommy?!?" My reply? No mommy is perfect. My mistake resulted in a couple weeks of teary bedtimes, but has led to some of the most awesome nights ever. We all stumble sometimes and need to reprioritize. The most important thing is that my little man is loved, healthy and happy. 

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

{sweet tooth; looking "comfortable"}

I will be the first to admit that I have a sometimes-insatiable sweet tooth. Brownies. Cookies. Ice cream. Cakes. Yep. 

Sweet tooth or not, I try my best to eat a healthy diet. Plenty of fruits and veggies, not many bad snack foods, etc etc etc. I often forgo dessert at home {unless I have free time after my son goes to bed, and make a mug cake- which I often share with hubs}. 

All that being said, sometimes there is just nothing like a warm, chocolatey, gooey corner piece of a fresh pan of brownies. {...there are four corner pieces... my mouth is watering}

I may have noticed that my sweet tooth has been getting the better of me lately... and yes, the frigid temperatures and frequent snow-fall has somewhat sucked my workout motivation out of me, and no. I'm not happy about it. 

BUT, darling hubs told me the other day that I was looking a little "comfortable" {in his defense, he did say that both of us were} and that really kicked my butt. 

At first I was pissed. {How dare he?!?}
Then, I got even more self-conscious. {If he thinks I look "soft", everyone else must think worse}. 
Then, I realized: If the man I'm married to, and have asked to be honest with me about everything, and have entrusted with the position of my life-long partner can't tell me that I've {maybe} gained a few... who can?!? After all, he also named himself as a guilty party in  winter-weight gain, so what's wrong with keeping each other in check and healthy?

The logical side of me is happy that I married a man who won't lie to my face and let me leave the house in a dress that DOES make my butt look big... {or actually let my butt get big in the first place} the emotional side of me is going to get over it- right after she finishes the brownies. 

It's time for me to get off my butt, and get back to the gym. 

Friday, March 7, 2014

{lent; negative self talk}

I hope that everyone enjoyed their Fat Tuesday! The hubs and I were pillow-deep in tissues and sick day sniffles, so I took it easy on cooking. {Which is a bummer because I was looking forward to making some amazing Emeril something-or-other full of okra and creole spice...} We had takeout.

So, since it's the first Friday of Lent I thought I'd figure out what my plans were for the next 40 days. 

I grew up in a fairly Lent observant house. Macaroni and Cheese and fish on Fridays... gave something up... went to church. The older I've gotten, I've become less of a churchgoer, but I like to think I still maintain traditions and observations. Every year at Lent, I evaluate what I could stand to sacrifice and what I could stand to improve upon. 

A few years ago, I stopped giving up chocolate or swearing or... {I felt like a little kid back in the confessional trying to come up with something bad, rather than an adult making a meaningful commitment} and started to come up with something that I could do a better job of in order to make myself the best I could be. 

This year's commitment is getting rid of negative self talk. I have a lot of ideas of what I would like to do within my career, personal life, and mommyhood and often talk myself out of them. I let myself think that things are "too hard" before I really give it a go and end up falling short of my potential. It's not good for anyone. 

So, my Lenten challenge to myself- and everyone out there- is to give up on the negativity. So often we miss opportunities and fall short simply because we talk ourselves out of it. If we all lived up to our potential, and gave 100%, imagine how awesome things could be.

Good luck!

Positive thinking also helps with stress management...

Monday, March 3, 2014

{Cycle for Survival 2014; quick NYC trip}

The "Shore Girls" 2014
This past weekend was my Cycle for Survival ride in NYC. Just like last year, it was an amazing experience- a room filled with enthusiasm, inspiration, and the most amazing energy you could ever experience. This year was different though, because of who I got to ride with. It was the first year since her diagnosis and treatment that my cousin was able to ride as a Survivor... being a part of her victory ride was pretty beautiful {even though she may say otherwise due to her hate of sweating in public}. I could not have been more proud to be there, and I am already looking forward to next year. 

I also got to stroll through the city for the first time in a long time... I haven't been up to New York in a while. In fact, I may not have been up since last year's ride. My hubs and I had planned a date day in the city last summer, but that day ended up being far from what we had planned {more on that another time}. It was nice to walk the city streets and remember just how awesome New York is. 

I got to grab lunch at the Kati Roll Company... it was recommended by one of the docs I work with, and I will definitely be stopping there again... Quick, delicious, simple, homemade Indian street food. {YUM!} My only regret is not getting more than one roll. 




Thursday, February 27, 2014

{Ben's love of the Olympics; What do you want to be when you grow up?}


Intently watching the Olympics
It has unfortunately been a while since I've checked-in here... They say that it takes 21 days {I think... maybe it is 28?} to form a new habit... couple that with the usual life stuff, and a wrist injury from playing in the all-too-present snow, and sitting down to type just wasn't in the cards. {Plus, when you're laying low in the snow, it gets difficult to come up with fun things to talk about}. 

I know that it is old news by now, but the Olympics are over. But, they were Ben's first Olympic Games, and he was enthralled... so it was a big deal for us.

We had a lot of fun watching them as a family, talking about the different events and explaining them to Ben. When we played outside in the snow {hubs built a toddler-sized hill of snow in the front yard to sled down} he was "snowboarding"... he really got into it. When athletes fell down, he would cry, "Oh no!" and was truly upset for them waiting with baited breath to make sure that they were ok.... {he also showed concern for Bob Costas}. Conversely, when someone had a great victory he was thrilled, and cheered his little heart out. He paid close attention to every event, from Slopestyle to Ice Dancing and everything in between. 

One night, {curious to see what he would say, given his new found love of winter sports and professional athletics}, I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He seemed to really think about it, but didn't name any one thing. They only thing he emphatically said "Yes!" to {when I started to rattle off a list of: Olympic athlete, nurse, doctor, fireman, police man, et al...} was Daddy. {Awwww....} 

So, we remain curious... we keep guessing, giving him as much fuel as we can to nurture his imagination and watching him take interest in things... So far our guesses include: dancer, fireman, policeman, librarian? {he loves books}, and so much more. {We obviously have no idea}. But, one thing we can hopefully look forward to is watching him one day with his own kids, {we'll be awesome grandparents}. 

This little girl is incredible! I hope she sticks with design, and keeps having fun with it! {It makes me want to have a little girl...} Kudos to her mom, too!

These photos are adorable... the "dreams" are beautiful and fun. 

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

{working nights:late night snacking}

I started working nights- again- about a year ago. It's an interesting shift... wide awake while most everyone is resting, drinking coffee at all hours, and eating... stuff.

It's hard sometimes to figure out what to eat during a 12 hour overnight. I know some who prefer not to eat much, if at all- thinking that if they were home, they'd be sleeping and not eating. But, I'm far too hungry to be that restrained. {I think the only way I can ever go 12 hours without eating is if I'm sound asleep after a holiday meal}. 

I have learned that eating a regular meal is a no-no for me... often making me sleepy. I've seen and felt {in my waistband} the effects of giving into late-night, sleep deprived, junk food cravings {sometimes Cheetos from the vending machine are just irresistible}... and sadly, I'm beyond my college days of being able to sustain myself on Ramen. 

So, I snack... every few hours... all night long. 

Popcorn, cereal, yogurt, sometimes fruit {not as portable and quick to grab as I wish}, peanut butter/crackers, Luna bars, nuts {my big treat! we keep them out of the house because of Ben's allergy}... and whatever else I can make myself think of as healthy, but tasty to keep me going. 

Some of my favorites:
- Homemade trail mix- I like to mix it up with banana chips, sunflower seeds, peanuts and whatever I crave at the moment. I make it in a big batch for us all to enjoy throughout the week. 
- My favorite special yogurt treat....
-... because two little kisses go a long way at 3am... 
- A great alternative to hospital coffee. Perks me up, and gives me a little boost of Vit. C. 

Sunday, February 16, 2014

{my toddler: bad bedtime}

...sneaking a book into bed...
My sweet, adorable, wonderful boy is definitely in the midst of his "Terrible Twos". Today was full of meltdowns and battles of will. The culprit {we think}: we noticed one of his two-year molars coming in. {Thankfully, that's something we can help} 

I work nights. So three nights per week, it is just my hubs and my son at bedtime. Somehow, my hubs has become the Sandman while me putting our son to bed is kin to giving him espresso and license to cry. 

Tonight, we had a role reversal. My husband was called into work tonight, leaving me home to tame the toddler. Because we are aware of the bedtime drama, {and I had managed the daytime tears} my hubs did the usual bedtime routine of book reading, song, and tuck-in. Of course, Ben crawled right into bed and was seen angelically snoozing on the monitor... 

Then, {I'm pretty sure he heard my hubs getting ready to go}... we watched as he got out of bed, and got one of his favorite books... and then a flashlight... and then a toy. Hubby walked out the door. 

I was ok with him playing, as long as the light was off and he was in bed. {Eventually he would nod off... right?}

As soon as I was comfortable on the couch downstairs ready to watch some Hulu, {yay Mommy time!}, I started hearing the sounds of his trucks, and noticed the light on in his room. {and the pitter patter of his little feet} I attempted using the monitor to mysteriously and invisibly speak to him and tell him to turn his light off and get into bed... 

...one book; backrubs; some snuggling; some begging; and one hour later, he was asleep enough for me to tiptoe out. 

Curious to learn why I can't seem to get him to sleep, I consulted Dr. Google. Turns out, the problem is likely the fact that when he cries in the middle of the night, I hug him; when he has nightmares, I hold him, try to kiss it away, and if its bad- bring him to our bed. {I'm the soft spot- the pushover} Hmpf. 

Maybe these adorable pjs would help?
The book of the night...