Previously, I posted about my issues with being able to get my son to sleep at bedtime... I had never had an issue, but hit a rough patch during which me putting him to bed resulted in screaming and crying... I can happily report that the tides have turned!!
{Although I'm taking the credit for this change, I'm fully aware of the fact that he may have just gone through a phase of toddlerness and he's now through that rough patch... but it feels better to think that I am doing better...}
I figured it out.
My approach to bedtime has been different than my husband's... to him, bedtime has been a slow process, often delayed by miscellaneous tasks and letting Ben mosey through it all. Hubs is a bit more laid back than I am, and doesn't really stick to a set bedtime. Bedtime just happens when it happens... Although I'm not a fan of letting a 2 year old dictate what time he goes to bed, and get away with procrastinating... what results from hubby's plan of attack is extra quality time between the two of them.
My way of doing bedtime was more strict, and had become too rushed... the clock struck 8, and it was time to be in bed. No distractions. He got a bath, hugs, three books... and then it was lights out. I was always focused on getting him to bed in time to get a good night's sleep, and making sure that I had the time to do the things that I needed to do that I forgot- bedtime is special. I forgot that even if I had spent the whole day building blanket tents, giving hugs, and playing with trucks, bedtime is special... Bedtime requires quality time. {He'll master the art of collapsing out of sheer tiredness later in life when he doesn't need snuggle time from his mommy....}
So, the past few nights that I've been in charge of bedtime have been different, and wonderfully so. {I work nights, so I'm not always home for bedtime- which I think was contributing to my rushing; I have limited nights at home so I overplan/stress about what I can do while I'm home. AND I think it adds to Ben's need for some extra QT since he doesn't always get it from me... a perfect storm} My goal bedtime has not changed- 8 or 830 remains my deadline. But, the process has changed.
We now start our routine at about 645 or 7pm. {We used to start at 730 or 745.} Ben loves swimming and playing in the tub, so after dinner we gather all of his toys and hop in! I started tasking him with undressing himself while I run the water. {He loves taking his shoes off, and needs to learn how to work his pants for potty training...} When all of his toys are in place, and there is a small ocean of warm water, I put on my Disney Spotify playlist, and he hops in. He swims, we play, we sing, we talk, we wash until he's done... Usually about an hour later. Then, we brush teeth, slather on some lotion, get on some pj's and snuggle up to some books.
Magically, by 830 he is happy, sleepy and ready to say goodnight. No crying, no pleading... no tantrums... just sweet dreams.
...I'm sure there are many moms who, if they ever were to read this post, would say "DuH!- you're a lame mommy for not knowing that bedtime is a two-hour process and how could you cheat your baby boy out of even more special quality time with his mommy?!?" My reply? No mommy is perfect. My mistake resulted in a couple weeks of teary bedtimes, but has led to some of the most awesome nights ever. We all stumble sometimes and need to reprioritize. The most important thing is that my little man is loved, healthy and happy.
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